Gym Pet Peeves

 People at the gym will judge, including me.
The most annoying are those people in exceptionally good shape at the gym. I’m like, ‘What are you doing here? You’re done.’
— Jim Gaffigan



Working out in big groups. You know it’s going to be a rough day when you see an entire troop of boy scouts on the squat rack. It is typically, but not limited to, high school aged guys that like to do this.

    Look, I understand why one might seek moral support if they are not comfortable in a gym setting, or just want someone to spot them, but keep it to one gym partner. Once you have a whole squadron of little “stud mini-muffins” you become extremely inefficient.

By the way, you do not need to be glued to your workout partner. It’s probably better for the both of you to limit the time spent watching someone else work out.

Circuit workout during peak hours. Circuits are great, but not in a crowded gym. You can hardly focus on what you are doing while constantly checking to make sure nobody has taken your other pieces of equipment. Either reserve this for a slower day or rely on being more intimidating than a 2,000 lb gorilla.  

I once had a woman literally jump over me to get to the bench I was about to use. “Sorry, I didn’t Realize you ad dibs on everything!”

Unwanted staring. Creepers gonna creep. Just don’t creep while you are doing pectoral flies with your chin pointed down; you will look like Hannibal Lecter.

Loud ass headphones. I can only feel sorry for your eardrums...and everyone within ten feet of you.

Similar to this, wearing giant headphones, like Beets, around your neck just for show. It’s not hurting anyone but it looks dumb.

Using machines as a place to rest. This is inconsiderate.

Using cell phone on machine. Oh lord. Just recently I saw a woman carelessly pushing on the leg press with no weight, all while texting. Beyond being annoying to everyone that wants to use the leg press, this could have been hazardous to the woman if she had some actual weight on it. If it is that important take it outside.

One uppers. Secretly competing with other gym goers may actually be a good tactic to push yourself. The key here is secretly. Making a show of out lifting someone or having treadmill races is not cool.

Slamming weights and grunting. Making loud grunts and slamming objects around is universally annoying. For a moment imagine behaving like this somewhere other than the gym to see how absurd it is. Here are a couple of my favorites:

  1. The library

  2. A self-service car wash

  3. A grocery store

  4. and the best: a public restroom